‘Rule change at graveyard has made me consider moving my daughter – it’s heartbreaking’

Wednesday, 3 September 2025 08:33

By George Lythgoe

Bereaved mum, Danielle Almond, at the graveside of her baby girl, Isla, who passed away eighteen years ago. Credit: Kenny Brown

A bereaved mum who has just under a week to collect items from her daughter’s grave before they’re removed has spoken of her heartache.

St Barnabas Church, in Shore, will impose new rules from this weekend. It means items placed on graves – except fresh flowers – will be removed.

That includes toys, ornaments, crosses, artificial flowers, pictures and paintings. A sign outlines the new rules to visitors.

Danielle Almond, whose stillborn daughter Isla was laid to rest there in 2007, is one of many upset by the move by the Diocese of Manchester.

“I didn’t know anything about it,” the 40-year-old said. “I can’t say I’ve seen any sign.

“I have only a few days to move stuff off her grave. It has come as a complete shock.

“It’s just horrible as that is where we remember her and put memorabilia.

“I just think it’s ridiculous. If we pay for a plot we should be able to do what we want with it.

“I just have a few ornaments there. It makes it personal for baby loss.

“I would expect the Church of England to have a little more empathy with the grieving.

“I don’t know where to go from here, as I don’t think I can go up there if all of my personal items are removed, it won’t be personal or reflective anymore.

“I have considered moving her but honestly I don’t think I can as it is supposed to be her final resting place. It’s heartbreaking.”

Danielle visits the grave regularly, often with family members including her 12-year-old daughter Lottie.

The Diocese of Manchester said it is introduced the rules in 2019, but St Barnabas Church has only just started to enforce them. Mementos will be removed on September 7.

Sheila Wildman, church warden, said: “It has been brought to our attention by the Area Dean and Archdecon for Rochdale Diocese that we are not complying with churchyard regulations by allowing mementos and silk flowers on the graves.

“We have tried to implement this in the most sympathetic way possible and have also tried to give plenty of notice. Unfortunately we have to comply with church regulations regarding graveyards so it is out of our hands.”

Kitt Budd, who started the petition named ‘Stop Removal of Grave Items at St Barnabas Church’, said it ‘is more than just a place of rest – it’s a sanctuary where we celebrate missed birthdays, sit and talk, and bring flowers and trinkets as tokens of our everlasting love and remembrance’.

The petition reads: “The removal of these personal items not only disrespects the wishes of the families but also causes unnecessary heartache and a sense of loss all over again.

“We must come together to urge St Barnabas Church to halt this practice and respect the community’s need to grieve and remember in their own personal and time-honored ways.

“We believe that these beloved items should remain with the resting places of our loved ones.”

The Diocese of Manchester, which operates St Barnabas, said similar regulations exist nationwide and are set by the Diocesan Chancellor.

A spokesperson said: “We know how deeply personal it is to honour and remember loved ones, and we’re grateful to all who care for their resting places with such devotion.

“Our churchyards are shared sacred spaces, and to help preserve their peaceful and respectful character, they are governed by Churchyard Regulations set by the Chancellor of the Diocese of Manchester.

“These were introduced in 2016 and revised in 2019.”